Is being a Highly Sensitive Person a Gift or a curse?

A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is very connected to their feelings and inner state. 

They are also very attuned to the feelings of others and the environment around them. This gives HSPs a more profound capacity for empathy than non-HSPs. These natural traits of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) enable them to harmonise a potentially stressful situation before it happens.  
 
In her book "Highly Sensitive People" Psychologist Elaine Aron states that around 20% of the population are Highly Sensitive People (HSP). This is because HSPs are born with a more sensitive central nervous system and brain. This is entirely natural, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. 

All physical, emotional, or social stimuli are detected at a lower level (before it is noticed or bothers/stresses non-HSPs). All stimuli is processed more deeply (meaning that the brain thinks, compares, and gives it more importance than non-HSPs), and it is done very quickly. An example of this is that an HSP will be able to tell if someone's state or emotion has changed, even if only for a brief amount of time. Another example is they will notice everything in a room or restaurant at once and may feel like they don't want to stay but may not be able to say why.  To read more information about what it is like to be a HSP click here.

Is being a Highly Sensitive Person a Gift or a curse?

• You feel things very deeply and are moved by them. The sight of a puppy playing, or a sunset can move you to tears of joy. Seeing or hearing about violence hurts you profoundly and may even physically hurt you.
   
• You are very aware of your own and other people's feelings. Sometimes you get so involved in helping another person that you get confused about what you are responsible for.
   
• You often feel anxious when you are around more than 3 people, especially if you do not know them or are not friends with these people. 
   
• You are probably hard on yourself, as you don't want to upset or hurt others.
   
• You overthink the one not-so-good thing that happened during your day.
   
• You are very imaginative and most probably have a rich inner world.
   
• You need time to relax and let everything you have noticed during the day be processed and let go of.

Looking at this list, you may see some traits of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) as unfavourable and others as positive. Maybe your own experience of these traits has been positive and negative for the same quality in the past? This was my own experience, and sometimes, I would wish that I was not so sensitive.

A lot of the literature and studies on Highly Sensitive People (HSP) tend to focus on the negative qualities of the Highly Sensitive Person. However, it is also reflected in our Western culture that it is a weakness to be sensitive. This culturally accepted 'truth' was somewhat ingrained by the misinterpretation of Darwinism's “Survival of the fittest” (humorously and accurately spoken about in this TEDx talk).

 
The literature about Highly Sensitive People (HSP) includes words like ‘manage', 'cope' and 'deal.' As a Psychologist, an HSP and an Empath, this makes me mad! As it paints the picture of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) as someone with whom you must tread on eggshells and wrap up in cotton wool. As I will show you in this article, my sensitivity and yours are a gift.

I was delighted to read about some new research carried out by De Gucht et al. (2022). They wanted to see the potential benefits of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and used a questionnaire that tested six essential factors of being highly sensitive:

Emotional and Physiological Reactivity - example - “I get easily upset from stressful situations.”
 
Sensory Discomfort - example - “I find harsh sounds very annoying.”
 
Social-Affective Sensitivity - example - “I can usually see when someone masks their feelings with a smile.”
 
Sensory Sensitivity to Subtle Internal and External Stimuli - example - “I am quickly aware of changes in my body such as my body temperature.”
 
Sensory Comfort and Pleasure - example - “I can enjoy humour or laughable situations.”
 
Aesthetic Sensitivity - example - “I can be very touched by a beautiful work of art.”
 
As you can see from the above six essential factors of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), only two of them could be seen as unfavourable. These factors were correlated with neuroticism.

The other four factors are seen as favourable and correlate with the personality trait of 'openness to experience’ (Source Psychology Today).

I hope you can see a positive connection between the personality trait of 'openness to experience' and how it flies in the face of the stereotype of Highly Sensitive People (HSP), and why it is considered by some as a weakness. The stereotype is that HSPs hide away and avoid new stimuli at all costs. However, this research showed that the opposite is true. In fact, Highly Sensitive People (HSP) are open to new experiences and new ideas, are more likely to seek out a variety of experiences and be comfortable with the unfamiliar. 

The personality trait of 'openness to experience’ also means that HSPs are imaginative, curious, and open-minded.  These are re all BIG strengths and a True Gifts in this ever-changing world.

The very fact that Highly Sensitive People (HSP) feel everything so deeply and are very attuned to their own, and other people's emotions, makes them highly intuitive. The proof for this is that the same part of the brain used to process feelings and emotions is also the area of the brain used when you access your intuition (Friedlander & Pearson, 1991).
 
Intuition is the inner compass that will guide you much more easily through life. 

Instead of overthinking all possible outcomes, another natural strength of HSPs, you can instantly access your intuition to know what to do.

When I accepted that my sensitivity was the part of me that gave me a magical,  technicolour experience of life, it set me free to be all I am and embrace all my gifts.  This is how I designed my own unique way of coaching that sets other people free of their problems / issues / pain.  I love to give other people the experience of who they truly are.  If you want to experience that you truly are Free and Unlimited I can help.

Being a Highly Sensitive Person makes you awesome!  

I can show you how to use your Gifts of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Book a free consultation with me now to find out how. You can also download my ebook here.

Aron, E., Highly Sensitive People (New York: Citadel Press Books, 1996).

De Gucht, V., Woestenburg, D. H. A., & Wilderjans, T. F. (2022). The different faces of (high) sensitivity, toward a more comprehensive measurement instrument Development and validation of the sensory processing sensitivity questionnaire (spsq). Journal of Personality Assessment. doi:10.1080/00223891.2022.2032101

Friedlander, J. Pearson, C. The practical psychic. (York Beach, ME: Samuel Weiser, Inc., 1991).